Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Stripped of my heritage

Out of the blue my daughter texted me and asked what tribe (we)  my birth family is from.  I have to dig out my birth family information to give her the answer.    Haven't done that yet.

I told her that it doesn't matter anyhow, I cannot prove who I am.  She responded with a "Huh."  I had to remind her that I don't have my real birth certificate, so as far as the system is concerned, I am not that person because of adoption.   Its quite an irony, I am not biologically attached to my adoptive family either.  This in turn gives my children the same issue.  Its like stripping someone of their ancestry.  Once I explained this to my daughter, she was shocked.  She had not thought of that before.   She asked how to get my original birth certificate, and I explained I'd have to go to court and doubt I'd actually get it.  She was so mad!

Nope, most people don't think of this, what is stripped away from a baby when she's given up for adoption.  I texted my daughter this in response to her shock.  "Hence, my blog Who am I anyhow."
My daughter didn't respond to that text.  But I have been thinking about it a lot.  The dreaded question  I think I have the answer for with my 50th year of life quickly approaching.   It's a battle of managing myself,  alone.   You wouldn't believe what goes through my head on a daily basis.

I hate not having my ancestry for my kids, I resent it.   I am part Native American, and it's not that far removed, my birth fathers grandmother.    Because of adoption we can't claim our own heritage or ancestry, and its going to continue for generations, when my kids have kids, etc.   Do the adoption peddlers have any idea what they are doing when they break up families, or do they just not give a darn?  Can they grasp the devastation they are creating for generations to come?  


  1. No they don't grasp it. They do not understand at all what they are doing to the future generations. The turmoil is much the same for the second generation as it is for the 1st. I feel bought and paid for. I feel owned. It hurts. Truth of the matter... it's abuse.

    Being forced to legally claim a name that has absolutely nothing to do with our ancestry, our heritage or history, our belonging, if you will, to the tribe of man. Where it is that we fit in. ...--and-- being refused the truth, the document that lies just out of reach, that anyone else can look at just because they aren't 'owned'. They are a 'free people'. Free to be who they are. A lot of people --just--don't--get--it!

    If these folks, who determinedly keep records closed, were to go to their doctor and have tests or procedures done and then not be allowed EVER to have that information (the diagnosis or conditions etc.) that pertains -to them and ONLY to them- except slim chance by court order.. then maybe a wee bit of understanding would creep in. Maybe.

    my personal view...no, I don't believe they do ''give a darn''. If they did, they would change it. ...Sad.

    1. Your right. And I think it can be seen in a lot of other areas in life. For example, when we lived in this town home for years this awful neighbor tortured us, for no reason. Complaints about everything, things he made up. Our neighbor never wanted to talk about it, or really understand and she even had kids the same age as ours. This man would hide in the bushes and take pictures of our daughter. Anyhow, she always backed this crazy neighbor UNTIL we moved out. Guess who he started to harass! She then realized how much it stunk to be harassed by him and was outraged, and did something about it. However when it had to do with us, she did nothing, could really have cared less.

      If the general public was denied their records, their heritage, they'd be up in arms too. They'd be sure the law was changed.