I wasn't adopted by a corporation, but after mom told me last week that it was my dads sperm that were the problem that kept them from having another baby, I've been in deep thought.
So much has been said in this past week, as my dad told us that he doesn't want to continue to live once he is totally blind, and that is something that is coming any day.
It makes sense why he has never liked me or wanted me. Maybe he did while I was cute and couldn't really communicate.
It also makes sense why mom never fully bonded with me. She wanted to adopt and dad did not. So liking and loving me meant betraying her husband.
She always chose him, instead of me.
I'm not sure what this means to me, exactly. I just know mom told me she wishes she could go back and make other choices, even though her life is exactly the same today as it was back then. She still refuses to make different choices with my dad now.
Can I believe what she says? I'm not sure? Does it matter? Where do I fit in to this family, and why can't all of us talk about it, with real meaning and stop pretending it doesn't exist?
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