I dont speak with my birth mom, at all. Last year we spoke for the first time in years and I had to stop all communication, again. Its funny, we've been in reunion since 1984, but during those years, she's been missing in action most of the time, or I have chosen to stay away from her. I have not seen her on Holiday's, she hates them all. She has never really sent my kids birthday cards and has not been involved with them over the years. She has chosen to be absent from our lives all these years.
Anyhow, the one and only person on both sides of my birth family that I speak with is my aunt. she is my birth dads sister. She was informed by my birth mom that my brother was in the hospital after sinus surgery, bleeding. She originally told her it was sinus, but I found a pic on line that showed he was recently punched in the nose....so who knows the truth. Seems my birth mom can never tell the truth to save her own life. Anyhow, she contacts my aunt, even though she has nothing nice to say about her. Well, she has nothing nice to say about anyone! This makes me believe she has nobody else to call? She is alone.
I feel sorry for them. No, I cant go to their aid. I cant call them. I cant trust them. I wish it were different. I wish, I wish their kooky problems and craziness was somewhat "Normal" -- and I mean "Normal" in the sense there is NO pornography, selling drugs, trying to date underage girls.... Their lives are totally spun out of control. They both live on the edge, just a couple breaths away from being in jail. My grown son is scared of my brother, thinks he has tried killing/harming him.
My life is good, fairly calm, and I am happier than I've ever been my entire life. I think its because I made the choice to keep them out of my life. Its is sad, and it is a loss. But life goes on, and as it does, the pain gets less and less.